When the sweetness fades

Love has been represented in a million ways for years.

I don't know how people viewed love and relationships in the previous centuries. I can only speak of how it is now and in the last few years.

Almost all people think that love and relationships are all about that butterflies-in-the-stomach-and-everything-turns-to-fairywonderland. A person will think their partner is the most perfect thing in the world. Everything around him/ her blooms with roses and lillies and everything else seems so much better. He/ she wants to constantly be around their partner and bask in their presence. I'm not sure if I'm making sense with my description but basically one is in such a state of euphoria that he/she may be blinded by this phase. It's perfectly natural for two lovers to be in this phase initially.

But don't expect that it will last forever.

Love is also about growth. A couple will eventually move out of the initial "sweetheart" phase. If you have come relatively far in to the relationship you may have started to uncover this second phase. You get to know the person more- his/her quirks, mannerisms, habits, attitude and ideals. Some of the things you will discover may disappoint you. There are things that you will not agree with and there are some things that will drive you crazy. Not only that, you cannot evade the tough times that life will throw your way. The next question is:

Are you willing to put up with all of this?

It's very easy to just say it's over. You will always have the choice to go on or give up.

Here come's the third phase. Love is a decision that you need to make everyday. It is not a mindless and absent action where your mind and brain is set on autopilot to do. You need to remind yourself everyday why you chose such decision to continue to love your partner. Of course the matter is entirely different if you are in an abusive relationship, in which case you need to get out of it ASAP. It's about commitment and effort. I also learned from my Philosophy class that it always involves a conscious and deliberate decision. If it's not deliberate then your love for your partner is not genuine.

Sound like a lot of work?

Are you really ready to commit a big part of your life to a person? Here's the hard fact: being in a relationship is difficult. Two persons must continually help each other carry the burden and help each other grow. Before you jump into the relation-ship be sure you're in it through tranquil waters and raging storms.